Life's Lessons

Life presents some pretty interesting lessons for us. That's my theme for this blog entry. Yes, I'm writing a blog instead of going to bed. Ha ha! So here goes my feelings for the week so the whole world who reads my blog can see.

This week I have been kinda depressed. I have been letting several things get to me. Plus as a side note I hate the cold weather.
Since it's my blog I'm going to write a little bit about how I handle things so you can understand the cirumstances a bit more.
So I am a very sensitive person. In good and bad ways. In the bad way I let things get to me too easily. I let other people's opinions crush me. Especially if they are opinions that are not the most agreeable with mine. In fact, when I hear them I "stew" over them for days and days. Sometimes weeks and months. I don't know why I always have. I just think about them and think why do they say that? Why do they think this? Why is my opinion not good enough? Why this? Why that? I dunno, I guess it's kinda hard to explain how my brain works. But that's a little explination anyway.
Well, I went to see the New Moon movie. I wasn't particularly fond of it. I put a post of it on my blog and some people read it. I felt like everything they said was against me and why my opinion of it was bad.
I also heard the comment that Max Hall said about the game on Saturday. I was against what he said. So, I put my opinion on Facebook and I felt I got it thrown in my face. So, I "stewed". At work I have been feeling like problems with my store have been going over my head to people that have nothing to do with my store. I again: "stewed" about it.
I felt like no one was answering my texts. So, you guessed it I "stewed".
Do you know what I mean by "stewed?" That's what my dad calls it. I just go over it and over it and wonder why and let it eat me alive inside.
I have also been thinking about why I am not attractive. I feel depressed when I think how much weight I have been gaining. I think about how I am a college drop out and I think I'm not smart enough for school.
I think oh I'm 26 years old and not married. Not even close.
But you know what? I have realized that I am me. Heavenly Father has made me the way I am for a purpose. I am just barely realizing this concept. I have not fully grasped the concept of it to really act upon it yet, but I am starting to. I am starting to realize that people are going to give their opinions. People are going to either be for or against what I say and that's ok. They have the freedom of speach just as much as I do. I don't have to be hurt by it. I will have to accept what they say if I post things like what I did in the past. Let them voice their opinions and either continue to talk about it or let it slide off of me.
I have realized that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always there for me. They love me no matter what. They are there every minute and every second of my life. People come and go. My friends still care, but they have their own busy lives to manage. But my Father and Savior are ALWAYS there for me (and for you in our own ways).
As far as my looks, well, I can watch what I eat and how much I exercise, but I can't control the actual looks. I just must be happy with what God gave me. I must not care what others think and to be honest they probably aren't thinking much about what I look like when they have their one lives to worry about. Plus all I can do is look MY best.
I also need to realize that everyone is trying to make it through life the same as me but in different ways. That's another fault of mine. I try to control everyone mentally. I try to make every one see the way I see things and think the way I do but I just can't. It's going to take a lot of work for me to direct my mind to stop trying to mentally control everyone, but I will do it.
So to anyone who reads this blog if I have offended you in anyway of my recent actions I apologize. I'm not perfect, but I am trying to become better. I am again just very sensitive and I am trying to be better at not being the bad sensitive. At least I have started on the journey. Thank you for being patient with me and being my friends and family. I appriciate all you do for me.
Also a shout out for you who have gotten this far in this blog! Thanks for reading. I just had a lot I wanted to type tonight and it actually felt pretty good to get it all out.